It isn’t anything sophisticated, yet it is super effective. It isn’t an intelligent or creative insult, but it hardly ever misses to hit the spot and achieves the ultimate goal of each troll… a reaction.

The wannabe troll needs no wordcraft, no sartirical or sarcastic mindset. They need not be quick witted. They will never surprise anybody with their original insults, oh no.

Don’t expect to read anything like:

You are so active that the energy you dissipate will halt the rotation of the earth and reverse gravity.

No, that level of wit and sarcasm is way beyond them, but unlike the most intellectual retort theirs will hardly ever miss the target.

Their efficiency is lethal.

Just because they apply that same old line over and over at a very specific moment, in a very specific situation.

They’re hunters. They’re snipers. They know to bide their time. They lurk in and stalk popular posts and threads waiting for that one specific moment.

Because their otherwise limited rhetorical skills won’t land them any position on a discussion team, they have to stick with their good old trick, line.

They never read Oscar Wilde, the Encyclopedia Dramatica doesn’t have sufficient mudkips for them and FARK to them sounds as a typo of a popular cussword. Voltaire they most definitely haven’t read.

One line, that is all. One simple retort.

Almost always guaranteed to hit bull’s eye.

When they see their opportunity, lethal and ferocious like a black panther they leap forward and hit out.

– Six words –

Six words only.

Lethal claws cutting through the neck.

A blow as hard as if struck by a mantis shrimp.

At the exact right time.

Or wrong time, depending on who you are.

Six words only. Six words cutting through you and ripping you open.

A simple punitive retort. Even not a smart one. One merely highligting a specific situation. From high on a condescending perch. Just one reply. A reply without the troll ever having added value themselves.

It almost always works. Time after time.

Only when you recognize it, recognize the behavior and are in control of your own emotions.

Only then will you spot the trolling.

Spot the No shit, Sherlock/Captain Obvious element of their retort.

Because, that’s all it is. A simple, straightforward analysis. A factually correct statement about a previous behavior.

Yet, the troll lethally struck.

With an envious success rate. Except when you know to recognize it and can, instead laugh at their own limitations.

Obviously, as with any troll the same mantra applies: don’t take the bait.

Respond and you will confirm exactly their claim. Walk away, don’t fall in their trap. Take a breather and move on. Don’t confirm their exact claim.

Oh… that one line?

The line they drop time after time after you try explaining your position? The Captain Obvious statement which is so darn bloody efficient? Those six words???

Now you’re just being defensive.

Told you it wasn’t smart a retort or sophisticated a sentence.


This post was first published to the Steem blockchain on November 8, 2017.